O Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry to you,
For everything I own seems to be falling apart, and my temper draws near to breaking.
I am set apart with the Luddites, like one without technology,
For you remember my hard drive no more, nor does the computer itself. Its data lies in the grave and cannot be accessed.
My PC is counted among the slain, unable to even boot up.
Your wrath lies heavily upon my car; you have stricken both tires and battery.
You have made me contemptible to the mechanic, for he thinks that because I have boobs I am an idiot.
He consigns me to the lowest pit to wait for over two hours, even though I have an appointment.
He overcharges me because he knows I am confined and cannot escape- I want to punch him but refrain.
Instead I call to you, O Lord. I pound on inanimate objects before you.
Can I get anything else done while dealing with this nonsense? Can I make any financial progress when my checkbook is constantly assaulted?
Do you just not want me to ever finish this book of mine? Do you not want me to be able to get married until I am ancient and still less desirable?
My eyes are dim and greatly nearsighted, and yet you have broken my glasses twice this year.
Your anger has swept through my pipes; your terror has caused both clogs and leaks.
I have called two plumbers and yet still the shower drips; only with a bucket below do I keep the basement from flooding.
But I cry to you, O Lord; while on hold with tech support my prayer comes before you.
Why do you do this to me? Seriously, what is even the hell?
At least you have not taken my boyfriend from me, though you have cursed him with allergies
In between sneezes he listens to me complain; he plies me with back rubs and chocolate, that I weep not, nor scream with rage.
All year long I have suffered these afflictions; I am close to despair.
I have enough problems already; please stop giving me more to deal with.