The Online Community Of Christian Geek Central


    When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Share
    avatar
    Paeter
    Admin

    Posts : 3905
    Activity : 5604
    Geek-Cred : 52
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Age : 39
    Location : Mesa, AZ

    When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Paeter on June 7th 2017, 10:22 am

    Still looking for the best spot for it in my new office space, but I still have this printed out piece of paper I like to keep within my peripheral vision. It says:

    Things "Go Different" more often than they "Go Wrong".
    (Proverbs 19:21) Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of YAHWEH that will stand.
    (Romans 8:28) And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.


    Been thinking this morning about the hard left turns life can take that we don't expect or want. My hard turn away from vocal performance after spending five years earning a degree for it. My surprising pull to worship ministry pastoring and almost equally surprising exit from it after two years. My shift from thinking I'd just be an audio drama production studio to being a much more community focused podcaster and youtuber, with audio drama work now taking up the minority of my time.

    I resisted every single one of these changes, but I can look back and see how they led to really good things that are even better than the plan I had in mind.

    I'm curious if you guys have any memories of these kinds of hard left turns that ended up being good for your life and work in God's Kingdom.

    Anything come to mind?


    _________________
    -Seek The Truth!

    www.spiritblade.com
    avatar
    mikel.withers

    Posts : 588
    Activity : 713
    Geek-Cred : 9
    Join date : 2014-10-27
    Location : Homer NY

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  mikel.withers on June 7th 2017, 11:21 am

    I'm racking my brain ( no "w" for that one, and it feels weird to write it that way...)
    I wonder if my lack of planning leads to fewer noticeable "hard left turns".
    My life definitely hasn't gone as I hoped and thought it would, and the Lord only knows what would have happened to me had it gone as I thought it should have.

    When I very nearly destroyed my ankle in my junior year of high school, I came to the realization that I wasn't going to go anywhere in athletics. About that same time I realized I absolutely hated doing accounting, so my "fall back" plan was ruined as well.
    I struggle with pride as I am, and I can't imagine what an insufferable git I'd be if I had been a high level athlete or had a high paying "power" job. Would my wife and I have stayed together? Would my two children exist?
    Speaking of my kids, I never considered being a stay-at-home dad until I was one. Or a cook after that. Or a cleaner after that. But each job has led me to meet people I never would have otherwise.

    It takes all the faith I can muster to keep in mind that God knows how it will all work out, and to (somewhat) patiently wait on His plan.
    Well, I'm off to tear apart a children's wing toilet that isn't flushing right.
    God has a plan, God has a plan, God has a plan...
    avatar
    Rohelf

    Posts : 77
    Activity : 109
    Geek-Cred : 0
    Join date : 2010-07-08
    Age : 36
    Location : Louisville, KY

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Rohelf on June 7th 2017, 12:26 pm

    I have a different perspective on this, probably because of my most recent experience with this sort of thing. It sounds like for both of you guys, the things that turned your lives in the incidents were more like accidents or coincidences. Most of the time, when "life happens," it's nobody's fault. (I think that's why a lot of us tend to point at God in those situations. Who else can possibly be held to account?) It's bad luck, and it can be devastating, but I think it's very different to deal with rotten luck than to deal with deliberate malice. When you CAN point at one or two specific people who caused the problem, who knowingly and deliberately kicked your life off-course, that creates a different sort of frustration and rage. That's what I'm dealing with. Even if everything does work out in the end, even if it ends up being far better, that doesn't absolve the people who deliberately put me through such a frightening and humiliating experience. I see it this way- if someone shoves you into traffic, and while you're laid up in the hospital afterwards you meet your future spouse, then yes, some good did come out of that bad, but that's no credit to the person who caused the harm in the first place. They intended to hurt you, and they did. They still deserve to be held accountable for that hurt.
    avatar
    mikel.withers

    Posts : 588
    Activity : 713
    Geek-Cred : 9
    Join date : 2014-10-27
    Location : Homer NY

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  mikel.withers on June 8th 2017, 7:34 am

    Rohelf, I think what you are talking about is more aligned with God redeeming an evil act. It is like if God saw an evil being done to someone and said, "I'll turn this to my glory instead."
    For me, I get the feeling that God either caused or allowed something to happen to me to put me on another course, rather than adjusting my course because something happened to me.
    I thought (still do at times, if I'm being honest) that it was the wrong course. "I couldah been a contendah." And, maybe I'm wrong in my interpretation. If God "hardened Pharaoh's heart", then maybe He also "hardened" my head and made me injure myself to put me on the path I was supposed to be on, or maybe to keep me from a different path. Or, maybe my head was plenty hard on its own and He redeemed the situation I found myself in.
    I don't know, I'd really like to have that conversation with Him, someday.

    Update: that toilet I went to fix? I found the problem and fixed it; cleaned the whole thing and replaced rusty bolts. You could eat out of that bowl.
    And then I dropped it and broke the tank.
    At least my boss laughed at me when I told him about it.
    avatar
    fxruizx

    Posts : 89
    Activity : 106
    Geek-Cred : 1
    Join date : 2015-06-20
    Age : 35
    Location : Hillsboro, OR

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  fxruizx on June 8th 2017, 8:43 am

    mikel.withers wrote:
    And then I dropped it and broke the tank.

    SAD DAY!! affraid
    avatar
    Paeter
    Admin

    Posts : 3905
    Activity : 5604
    Geek-Cred : 52
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Age : 39
    Location : Mesa, AZ

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Paeter on June 8th 2017, 10:18 am

    Rohelf wrote:I have a different perspective on this, probably because of my most recent experience with this sort of thing.  It sounds like for both of you guys, the things that turned your lives in the incidents were more like accidents or coincidences.  Most of the time, when "life happens," it's nobody's fault.  (I think that's why a lot of us tend to point at God in those situations.  Who else can possibly be held to account?)  It's bad luck, and it can be devastating, but I think it's very different to deal with rotten luck than to deal with deliberate malice.  When you CAN point at one or two specific people who caused the problem, who knowingly and deliberately kicked your life off-course, that creates a different sort of frustration and rage.  That's what I'm dealing with.  Even if everything does work out in the end, even if it ends up being far better, that doesn't absolve the people who deliberately put me through such a frightening and humiliating experience.  I see it this way- if someone shoves you into traffic, and while you're laid up in the hospital afterwards you meet your future spouse, then yes, some good did come out of that bad, but that's no credit to the person who caused the harm in the first place.  They intended to hurt you, and they did.  They still deserve to be held accountable for that hurt.

    Yeah, I think there's real truth in that. The challenge we have is knowing whether or not it's our place to play a role in their accountability. And the bigger challenge, I think, is whether or not we allow those things to keep us in a place of bitterness (in which case the bad guys "win" on an additional level). Even when Joseph was in a rightful position to test his brothers, it still tore him apart until he couldn't contain himself anymore. (Genesis 44-45) And it seems that his perspective, more than their remorse, was what pulled him out of bitterness and enabled him to see how God used their evil choices to bring about good. And the entire gospel message is a celebration of what God did through the free, evil choices of people. So the premise of the topic isn't to absolve anyone from guilt, but is more about our own perspectives on unexpected difficulties, regardless of their source.


    _________________
    -Seek The Truth!

    www.spiritblade.com
    avatar
    Paeter
    Admin

    Posts : 3905
    Activity : 5604
    Geek-Cred : 52
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Age : 39
    Location : Mesa, AZ

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Paeter on June 8th 2017, 10:20 am

    mikel.withers wrote:

    Update: that toilet I went to fix? I found the problem and fixed it; cleaned the whole thing and replaced rusty bolts. You could eat out of that bowl.
    And then I dropped it and broke the tank.
    At least my boss laughed at me when I told him about it.

    Oh my gosh! That sucks. Am I allowed to laugh? Cause I am a little. So sorry, dude. Glad your boss had a good humor about it.


    _________________
    -Seek The Truth!

    www.spiritblade.com
    avatar
    mikel.withers

    Posts : 588
    Activity : 713
    Geek-Cred : 9
    Join date : 2014-10-27
    Location : Homer NY

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  mikel.withers on June 8th 2017, 11:09 am

    Allowed to laugh?
    Hey, if someone can get some enjoyment out of this, more power to them/you.

    I'd laugh if it wasn't me. A cynical grin is all I can muster right now, though.
    Seriously, though, I tell people that I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease complicated with congenital Murphy's Law. I should have been on my watch when things seemed to be going right.
    avatar
    Paeter
    Admin

    Posts : 3905
    Activity : 5604
    Geek-Cred : 52
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Age : 39
    Location : Mesa, AZ

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Paeter on June 9th 2017, 8:57 am

    mikel.withers wrote:Allowed to laugh?
    Hey, if someone can get some enjoyment out of this, more power to them/you.

    I'd laugh if it wasn't me. A cynical grin is all I can muster right now, though.
    Seriously, though, I tell people that I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease complicated with congenital Murphy's Law. I should have been on my watch when things seemed to be going right.

    Your delivery makes it funny, too. So it's definitely "with not at" kind of laughing. Uh, even though you're not laughing...


    _________________
    -Seek The Truth!

    www.spiritblade.com
    avatar
    Rohelf

    Posts : 77
    Activity : 109
    Geek-Cred : 0
    Join date : 2010-07-08
    Age : 36
    Location : Louisville, KY

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Rohelf on June 9th 2017, 4:52 pm

    Paeter wrote:And the bigger challenge, I think, is whether or not we allow those things to keep us in a place of bitterness (in which case the bad guys "win" on an additional level). ... So the premise of the topic isn't to absolve anyone from guilt, but is more about our own perspectives on unexpected difficulties, regardless of their source.

    I think "allow" isn't the best word here. You can't help how you feel about something, only what you do about it. Not doing is plenty hard enough on its own, anyway.
    avatar
    Paeter
    Admin

    Posts : 3905
    Activity : 5604
    Geek-Cred : 52
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Age : 39
    Location : Mesa, AZ

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Paeter on June 12th 2017, 10:47 am

    Rohelf wrote:

    I think "allow" isn't the best word here.  You can't help how you feel about something, only what you do about it.  Not doing is plenty hard enough on its own, anyway.

    I think our initial feelings about something may be uncontrollable, at least in the first moment they arrive. But we do have some control over hanging on to those feelings or not. I think that is the challenge we're responsible for facing while we seek out God's help with it. We are commanded to rejoice, to not harden our hearts, to not hate, etc.

    So the "allowing" I'm talking about there is what we do with our feelings after they first show up. Do we give bitterness a safe roosting spot, or do we turn to God in prayer, turn to scripture in meditation and turn to wise Christians for council? And maybe that's the "do about it" you were referring to.


    _________________
    -Seek The Truth!

    www.spiritblade.com
    avatar
    mikel.withers

    Posts : 588
    Activity : 713
    Geek-Cred : 9
    Join date : 2014-10-27
    Location : Homer NY

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  mikel.withers on June 12th 2017, 11:58 am

    I recalled something that might fit here.
    About 20 years ago, my in-laws moved out of state and (to make a long story shorter) my wife and i took over their 150 year old house, trying to fix it up enough to get a loan or sell it before foreclosure.
    A couple years of blood, sweat, and toil, and we were told by the bank that they wouldn't give us a mortgage. Which meant that we were foreclosed on. That very day, I took my son for a walk, just to get out of the house, and I went to a buddy's place. When I told him that, he told me that his tenant (duplex) had just left, and the place was an utter wreck...but if I wanted to clean it up, then we could negotiate rent.
    2 months of dog poop, human poop, roaches, roaches, and more roaches, trash, broken bottles, moldy furniture... just assorted nastiness... later, and we were able to move in just before we were kicked out.

    It was a really rough time for us, but also a way to see that, even at our worst, God didn't abandon us.
    It may not seem like things "not really going wrong", but the serendipity of learning we were about to be homeless to being told we could have a place to live within an hour or so has always struck me.
    avatar
    Paeter
    Admin

    Posts : 3905
    Activity : 5604
    Geek-Cred : 52
    Join date : 2010-02-17
    Age : 39
    Location : Mesa, AZ

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Paeter on June 13th 2017, 10:07 am

    mikel.withers wrote:
    It was a really rough time for us, but also a way to see that, even at our worst, God didn't abandon us.
    It may not seem like things "not really going wrong", but the serendipity of learning we were about to be homeless to being told we could have a place to live within an hour or so has always struck me.

    Wow. I can only imagine how something like that must have stretched and shaped you. That sounds really intense. Thanks for sharing that.


    _________________
    -Seek The Truth!

    www.spiritblade.com

    Sponsored content

    Re: When has something "Gone Wrong" That You Later Learned Didn't Really

    Post  Sponsored content


      Current date/time is June 25th 2017, 5:16 pm