Rickster wrote:Now I also know that there is a lot of temptations/desire to have sex and most Christians want to do what’s right and wait until they're married but I think if sex is the only reason why someone is getting marriage then maybe they should just have sex without marriage because both mess with what God intended marriage to be. (...) So what your thoughts about this? Am I totally wrong and is there now wrong reason to get married?
Rickster, I agree with you (and others here) that there are indeed more than one potentially wrong reasons to get married, several of which have already been mentioned.
I also agree with you that getting married just to be able to have sex, would be one of those wrong reasons.
Somewhat related to that (like a variant cover of the same issue
) would be the following:
Maybe some of the couples you are thinking of have not been able to withstand the temptations of the flesh and are now getting married because they feel guilty about it and think that this is now what they should do if they ever want to stand pure before God again. So not getting married TO have sex, but getting married BECAUSE they've had sex - perhaps this is what you are sensing from some of them.
I wouldn't be suprised if more than 50% of the Christian couples that are engaged to be married fail their intended celibacy. Can you imagine the enormous weight of guilt and shame (them feeling guilty and ashamed I mean) pressing down our church communities because of it? I think it's still somewhat of a taboo. Who wants to admit they've not been able to remain celibate during their relationship/engagement? I guess that would depend on the amount of grace and love that your fellow church members would be willing to show you, so it probably varies from church to church how honest engaged couples really are in talking about their struggles let alone confessing their sins.
But having slept with someone should never be your main reason to marry them. God didn't have a guilt trip in mind when He instated the marriage institute.
Also, we can never wash away our own sins by doing something ourselves; having "married sex" doesn't make up for the "unmarried sex" you've had before you got married, even if it's with that same partner and even if that partner was indeed your "God-ordained spouse".
Only Jesus can make us whole and pure again, by forgiving our sins.
How fortunate we are that we can go to Him every day to get cleansed by His blood and walk in grace.
So, should we have sex outside of marriage? Of course not.
But IF we fail and fall, we shouldn't call a wedding planner; we should run to Jesus and confess our sin, and be pure again as He tells us "Go, and sin no more."